I was never really a heavy user of porn. When we were teens in NYC we used to browse the magazine & newspaper stores and buy adult mags. I remember when I got my first dial up connection decades later. I somehow stumbled upon listservs and message boards with porn. That along with how my life was at the time had me using porn on a semi regular basis.
During those times I was in a state of consistent financial struggle. Something in my life had to change in order for me the get out of my financial crisis. I gave myself a year to start turning things around and if not I was going to enlist in the Military.
I figured out that there was money to be made selling porn on the internet. I combined that knowledge with being computer savvy and after a few weeks I started making a little money. I was put in touch with a dude in my city who became my mentor in the online porn business. I went to a porn convention in Miami did some networking and formed a few business relationships. In a matter of months that little money started quickly growing.
I was spending a lot of time engulfed in porn. Editing websites, reviewing content, creating movie and photo galleries, reviewing submitted galleries, this is a time before site like Porn-Hub etc. I even started my own niche pay site to make more money. I’m recording content, taking pics in addition to the other exposure. Being a reseller I usually had unlimited access to and endless sea of porn of most niches. Every now and them I would see something that would snag me like a fishing hook.
I remember when I first started in the business I’d be rock hard off and on while working on the content. There were times when I’d go rub one out so I could focus. When I stopped getting rock hard while working with the content I just figured I was getting used to the work. Looking back I realize that was the point when my problem with porn started. Making a fair amount of cash while only mad matters worse for me, it was like bait in a trap.
It was a slippery slope that slowly worsened over time. I blamed it on being tired and over worked, had anxiety over situations that might lead to a sexual encounter. I was consumed with worrying about if I would be able to achieve and maintain an erection. I tried using erectile dysfunction medication like Viagra and Cialis. The meds were hit or miss because the problem was in my head and not my body. Its was like there was a disconnection somewhere and my penis was practically dead.
Until I finally realized and accepted that I had a real problem that was seriously affecting my quality of life.
